


At Long Last

by Hetalia__Trash



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Ash Lynx is a hot mess, Ash isn't dead, Canon Universe, Cuddling, Eiji and Ash protect each other, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff without Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Insomnia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Somebody protect these innocent children, and honestly I can relate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25454677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hetalia__Trash/pseuds/Hetalia__Trash
Summary: Ash has been an insomniac since he can remember. He can't sleep without nightmares plaguing him, so his body refuses to let him sleep at all. However, he's finally discovered a foolproof solution to the issue—a solution that happens to involve asking for help, one of Ash's least favorite activities. Luckily for him, Eiji is more than willing to assist.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 6
Kudos: 138





	At Long Last

**Author's Note:**

> I dreamed up this dumpster fire of a fic a few days ago and decided that I had to write it, simply because I had so many better things to do at the time. Now, here we are, getting it published at last! I hope you enjoy reading this oneshot just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Ash couldn’t sleep.

It wasn’t exactly a new sensation to him; he’d spent more nights lying awake, tossing and turning, than he had getting actual rest. What was different about that night was that Ash knew there was a solution to the insomnia.

Eiji.

He was right there in the other bed, so close, barely 6 feet away. However, it was Ash’s personal ritual to remain alone at night—having other people beside him brought back memories that he had dedicated his short life to forgetting by any means necessary. During the day, he could stand it. Physical contact meant nothing and he thought nothing of it. His body was merely a tool he used to twist people to his will.

At night, though, he wasn’t an untouchable villain. He was just Aslan, a scared little boy with no one to turn to and nothing to comfort him.  
How was he supposed to absolve himself of his haunting thoughts, his fear of touch, when he found himself yearning for someone, a very specific someone, to be close to him?

He shouldn’t, he was positive of that. He couldn't. It would only hurt them both.

But he did.

“Eiji.”

The treacherous word escaped as a hushed, hoarse plea, almost inaudible. Maybe he wouldn’t hear. Maybe Ash would be able to disregard a mistake of his for once.

The world was not so merciful, of course. Eiji stirred immediately and twisted to face his roommate, remarkably alert considering that it was nearing 2:00 AM. He said nothing, instead fixing Ash with his gentle gaze, a silent inquiry.

There was no going back now.

“Could you”—a slip, a slight hesitation—“Could you come here?”

Eiji’s brow furrowed. Nodding, he padded across the room and, looking to Ash for confirmation that he was wanted there, set himself down overtop of the covers, deliberately putting as much distance between himself and the skittish gang boss as he could.

“You can get closer if you like,” Ash mumbled, and the hint of a knowing smile in his voice made heat rise to Eiji’s cheeks.

Without a word, he crawled beneath the thin sheet and went still, his focus solely on Ash. The other man’s jade-colored eyes fluttered shut reluctantly, and Eiji let his own eyes close. He was vaguely confused. Ash never let anyone get this close to him, especially not at night, when the intrusiveness of his never-ending nightmares reached its peak and they became too omnipresent to push aside. Why did he want Eiji there? Wouldn’t his presence serve as a reminder of all the unbearable things Ash had gone through?

His worries kept him awake for far longer than he would’ve liked to admit. As soon as the barrier between sleep and reality began to blur, though, he acutely sensed Ash’s heartbeat speed up.

His breathing quickened as well, thoughts racing as he fought through the beginnings of a panic attack. This had been a bad idea. Why had he thought this would work? Suddenly, all he could see or feel or hear was Golzine, his disgustingly heavy form pinning Ash down, his hot, moist lips pressed to Ash’s ear as he hissed words the child was desperate not to hear. "IloveyouIloveyousweetheartyou’remineyoucan’tescapemeyoucan'tescapeyou'llneverescape"—Ash wanted it to end, he wanted it all to stop, he wanted to die—

He finally woke, biting back a scream of agony while his eyes adjusted to the silver-ebony shadows the moon cast over the room.

His intense stare roved around the room and abruptly halted when Eiji's face came into view. Just like that, he was alright. Golzine wasn’t there. Golzine couldn’t hurt him. No one could, because right next to him was the only man in the city, perhaps in the world, who would never hurt him, who would do anything in his power to keep him from being hurt.

Eiji’s dark curls tumbled across his face, framing his delicate bone structure and contrasting his skin. His breaths were steady and even, his full lips barely parted. Peaceful, Ash thought, a word he hadn’t associated with since… Well, since birth. He felt... safe.

They were still not touching; the bed's sagging under Eiji's substantial weight was the sole indicator of his existence there. Ash leaned closer to him. A few motionless moments passed, during which he absently watched Eiji’s chest rise and fall, rise and fall, like waves on the shore.

They didn’t have long. Soon, Eiji would travel back to Japan whether he wanted to or not—he was sure he did not—and he wouldn’t have to waste his life on Ash Lynx, his beautiful, insatiable natural disaster no matter how badly they both wished that he could. As he unconsciously wrapped an arm around Eiji’s waist, closer to sleep than he had been in months, he found himself praying, begging: Please let us have this. Just for now, let us have this. Let me have him.

“Eiji,” he repeated, somehow even quieter. The raven-haired man rose instantly, a faithful servant at Ash’s beck and call.

Ash became lost in the boundless calm of his brown eyes, choked with sorrow and elation in equal measure. He was still shivering visibly, shaken by the memories.

Haltingly, Eiji threaded his fingers through his gold hair, stroking it reverently. One of his hands found the jagged scar on Ash's bare shoulder, left weeks ago by Arthur's blade, and covered it, protecting. The message was clear: You don't have to remember for now. I'll stay by your side.

"Thank you," Ash whispered.

Their warm breaths mixed as they lay together, each content in the knowledge that the other was near them. Though they would never be able to put the bond they shared into words, they didn’t need to. They understood it completely.

“Always,” Eiji responded, and at long last, the two fell asleep in each other’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> So, you've reached the end. I hope you liked this fic! Thanks so much for reading and feel free to comment—Seriously, comments and constructive criticisms make my entire week. Have an amazing day and always remember that you are loved!


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